COZY: Po(o/u)r Foam Anecdote
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Too funny, since I am sure it actually happened: you can't make stuff like that up.
In a similar vein, I will attempt to relate a story I heard. It IS a flying story, although not canard related, and I cannot remember where I read it or who
masterfully wrote it, but I will give it a shot, and am sure it will be found wanting compared the original authors relating it, but here goes...
It happened at a glider port on a nice day where sailplane rides were offered.
If you don't know anything about soaring, many of the pilots wear bucket hats to protect their heads from the sun,
and a particular pilot named Bob was very proud of his flying hat, a floppy affair that had a wide brim that he kept pristinely bleached white.
The other pilots were even fond of making fun of him because of his pride for his hat.
Some pilots were waiting around the line shack just after lunch when they noticed a nice car pull up to the parking area and a very cute,
young girl stepped out wearing short pants and a tank top and headed toward the office.
The young lady came into the office and stated that she had heard from her boyfriend that flying was fun and did they give rides?
Gladly, they said, as each jockeyed to let her know that they were the best pilot and how much she would enjoy to fly with them.
Seeing that none was winning, they asked her if she would like to go look at the aircraft up close, which she immediately said she would.
They told her to go out to the plane and one of them would be out in a minute, so she left the office and walked out to the line.
The pilots immediately began to compete as to who would be the lucky winner to take the prize for a flight.
A quick competition ensued and by some luck Bob won the opportunity, and it was decided.
Bob walked out to the plane and explained some details about the parts of the plane to which she seemed only mildly interested in,
while the other pilots stood around and listened. Bob decided the best bet was to actually get her into the
plane and up into the air so he could demonstrate his superior flying skills. He asked her if she was ready and she said "sure",
and he opened the canopy and helped her into the front seat, taking 'care' to make sure her harness was properly secured.
They pushed the plane out onto the runway, and Bob jumped in thinking to himself how lucky he was to have
won the draw to take this gorgeous young thing on a flight.
One of the others jumped into the tow plane and taxied into position while another hooked up the tow rope.
Bob closed the canopy to a wink from the tow rope guy. Bob gave her a quick instruction of what to expect and to not touch the controls.
She agreed, and the wing was lifted, and the tow plane accelerated and they were airborne. Bob noticed she was
a bit quiet, but thought it was because she was enjoying the view.
After release, he asked her if she was enjoying it, and she quietly responded "uh-huh".
Bob scratched around until he found a thermal, and after a few minutes had gained some altitude.
He asked her if she wanted to fly, and she said, "No, it's OK". He described what he was doing as he did some turns,
and then he asked her if she wanted to do a loop? She said, "uh, I guess" clearly not understanding what he was asking.
Bob put the nose down to gain some airspeed and cleanly pulled up, and over the top at exactly which time, she
unloaded her entire lunch, which landed immediately below them in the canopy.
Now, Bob was in a quandary, and inverted, with a ghastly multi-color pool sloshing above his head and his prized hat,
in the canopy 'above' them, with clearly no solution that would not end in tragedy.
After the VERY short flight, the other pilots met him and his passenger, as he opened the now empty canopy,
with looks of horror, as they surveyed his clothes, the passenger and his hat.
They broke out with restrained laughs realizing what had happened, as Bob got out and helped his charge to escape.
Bob tried to offer an apology to the girl, incredulous as to what had happened, and told her the flight was on him.
After a brief trip to the restroom, the girl made a beeline to her car and left, and the other pilots laughed
themselves silly. They never let Bob forget it.
Apparently, Bob got into canoe building later.